Thursday, August 04, 2011

I've had an...interesting experience this week. I though I would recount it to y'all so you can each share in a bit of my terror.

The Night Terror: A Horror Story with a Slightly Satisfying Ending

So there I am, reading at midnight. It had been a loooong day & I was really into the book I was reading. Somebody must have been dying, or fighting...or something interesting was happening. I'm so engrossed in it that I barely hear the gentle "Plop" beside my ear. But, it being a plop (and "Plops" being shortly followed by my viewing of bugs...) I, of course, must turn to look.

Now everyone knows that I don't care for bugs. Okay, I REALLY don't care for bugs, but usually I can (mostly) keep my cool. There are a few select creatures, though, that really, really, really, really freak me out. Also, seeing ANY bug at midnight tends to freak me out more then it would if I saw it at noon. Does that make sense?


Anyway, so I turn to my left and what do I see? WHAT. DO. I. SEE??? A BIG FAT DISGUSTINGLY GREEN AND DISGUSTINGLY FREAKISH LEAF BUG BESIDE ME. Right there. Beside me. At midnight. Waiting - JUST WAITING to plop on my head while I'm sleeping. I could see the malicious intent in it's green face...well, for as long as I looked at it (which was probably for 1/100th of a second.).

I leaped from my bed, through my book on Melissa's bed and ran screaming from the room. I called first for Dad, but seeing as all the lights were off, I decided that he was already in bed. Who is the next closest? CALEB. So I go into his room, flash the lights (while still yelling) and he jumps out of bed. He tries to put on his shirt, which I refused to let him do (I grabbed it and threw it in the air) seeing as it would take WAY too long and by then the bug would be IN MY BED (one of my worst fears). I shoved a shoe into his hands and led him to my room and pointed out the bug.

Caleb, being the sweet, kind, brother that he is killed it right there. But then...(HORROR OR HORRORS) HE REFUSED TO WIPE IT UP. So there, beside my head, on the wall, would be a big, fat, disgustingly green and disgustingly freakish SQUASHED leaf bug. That's almost as bad as an ALIVE big, fat, disgustingly green and disgustingly freakish leaf bug (emphasis on "almost".). He leaves the room, I'm practically in tears even though I am VERY grateful that it's at least DEAD. Mean green trespasser. As I struggle to decide who to ask to pick it up (I just CANNOT pick it up myself.) who do I see as I leave my room once more?

Dad. He's half-smiling and clutching a shoe in his hand. I thought I was going to die of joy. MY HERO. HE would pick up the bug for me! I would never have to see that big fat disgustingly green and disgustingly freakish leaf bug ANYMORE.

"Where is it?" My hero asks, ready to do battle on my behalf.

"Well, Caleb killed it, but............could you please pick it up for me?"

He is amazing and he did it.

Thus, my terrifying night was concluded.

Well...ALMOST concluded. I moved my bed AWAY from where the bug had been and I slept at the farthest end of my bed (just in case that leaf bug had any friends, cousins or enemies.) and I laid in bed for about 10 hours (praying there were no more in the room.) before finally falling asleep.

Now where can I find some Leaf Bug Killer?????

P.S. I was going to add a picture of the horrid thing (I found one on the internet.) But it was TOO terrifying. I just couldn't. So if you want to see what a leaf bug looks like, then go look it up yourself. *shivers*


Shelby Courtney said...

Hahahaha...ok, that is hilarious! The bugs are so much worse out in the country. That is why I always used to hesitate to stay in our camper at our farm. Some of the spiders are just unreal!!!! Do you hate snakes as bad as you do bugs?

Ethan Webb said...

Wow... GREAT story. Hahaha!

Sisters 4 said...

Definitely a horror story! :) It made me laugh. It really did.

Julia said...

Oh, that was really funny! ;) I had something similar happen to me (that I also blogged about) yesterday, but, thank goodness, it turned out not to be a bug. :D

Ali Holmes said...

Very entertaining to read! :P Glad the bug is killed! I HATE bugs!

Natalya said...

Ugh. I HATE bugs. And this truly was a horror story as several commenters said above. My most terrifying encounter with a bug was after I came back inside from milking my goats. There was a spider half the size of my brother's fist (he's 11 but's the size of an average 13yr old) and it was crawling on my back! Mom killed it. ugh. Anyway, I looked up the "terrifying thing" you saw and I thought it was rather cute in the pictures, but I wouldn't like to meet on on my bed! (same with big cats. I just love 'em, but I wouldn't like to get any closer to a tiger then between the 2in thick tiger proof glass at the zoo!
P.S. We live in WI so a spider that big was unusual. There are no bugs (or much of any other wildlife) up here in winter anyway, and we get 5+ months of winter sometimes. Almost half a year of no bugs. :) ;P

Amanda said...

Haha! While I must say you probably overreacted for only a leaf bug, I can also totally understand. ;) You should find the story (title is something like "Looking Back") that I have of my little brother saving me from a horrid nasty! And since I don't have many blog posts it's easy to find. Lol.

Kathryn Grace said...

LOL! You crack me up!! I don't think I'd have a problem picking it up with a nice thick paper towel folded into 4 layers once it was DEAD, but big giant LIVE bugs scare me. We have those huge long-legged spiders in our house and you just never know where to grab them. *shudders*
And by the way... I don't think you want to find some Leaf Bug Killer... you want Leaf Bug Deterrent - keep them out of your bedroom in the first place!! :-)

Rissi said...

You laid there for ten hours before falling asleep?? Wow, that was a stressful night. LOL! You must have been SO tired the next day.

Hey, Jessica, I think one of my mom's friends recently loaned us a DVD that your mom (Stacy) spoke on... It was well-done. I just thought that was interesting and then to find you blog - what a small world. =)